Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
