Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I currently don't understand fingers.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
