I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
