So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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