you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
