The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
