Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
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As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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