we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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