well I can't set my house on fire every night
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
