is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
