He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize