Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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