I wannas sexs uuuuu
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
