It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
