Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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