my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize