She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just found puke in my bra..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
