just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
