dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
