I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize