we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's blow job season.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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