If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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