You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
