i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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