I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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