It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
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Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
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All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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