They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
