No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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