The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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