Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
