singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
