We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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