Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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