i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
