I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
