found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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