I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
