fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
