i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
