i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
