Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just invented taco cereal.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
