We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize