your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
