if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Less talking, more tequila
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sorry about my life...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
