Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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