At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
