i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just had sex on a roof
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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