before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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