Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
