and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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