I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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