My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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