i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize