apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
