Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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