Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
