What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
