Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
