school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
